My Dear Child,
When I first found out I was pregnant with you I was in high spirits.
Before I was guaranteed you, I was ready!
I knew that there was pain to come along with it, but lost in the glee of having a child allowed me to ignore them.
And from that day I suffered so much, carrying you under my own skin.
Food was forced out of my own mouth,
I couldn’t wear the same clothes any more,
Things in my body aced.
But with every difficulty it only bought me closer to you.
I kept on reminding myself I had a child awaiting me.
And then the time came.
Out of the whole nine months I bored you, I never would have thought
that anything could be more painful.
But this was.
And as your father stood beside me gripping my hand I screamed out of pain.
It took so long, but I promised myself I wouldn’t give up on you.
Then I saw you, and I smiled, I cried and I prayed, thankful to now be holding you in my arms.
All I did was look at you;
You were so comforted, so innocent, not knowing anything around you. I was there for you.
Every night, as I’d sleep you would awake;
I would jump off my bed out of love, excited to see you.
To see your beautiful face change as it saw me coming towards it.
And as you grew I taught you right from wrong.
I taught you how to walk, talk, eat and greet.
Then there reached a time,
I would wake up early to take you to school.
And I would hug you and kiss you and tell you I loved you.
And you would run into your school playground, eager to learn more.
As you grew, my sweetest child,
The day came when you,
All that I had ever lived for, left me.
And at that I cried. The insides of me broke.
But I knew that this was only good for you.
For Insha’Allah, when you see your new beautiful child,
I know you will finally realize how much love I had for you, despite the pain.
My sweet child, you will always be my child.
And don’t ever forget…
That I love you, regardless of how you didn’t show your love for me.
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