“You need to speak to her. I know Hafsa means well, but she’s spending too much time at those Islamic events. Her education will suffer. And I don’t like her wearing black all the time, it’s not right, we’re living in the UK for God sake!”
His wife slowly turned around and looked at her husband. She knew he cared, but it seemed his perspective on his daughter’s new found religiosity differed to hers. “Honey, I’d rather she spent time going to those Islamic conferences, rather than in the night club. And you know she doesn’t wear black all the time silly, she does wear colour…”
He looked at her seriously; “I know so would I, but she has to settle down in the future. She needs to work, perhaps even support herself. I want the best for her. Going to all these Islamic events won’t help her; she can go to one – but why so many?”
As they were speaking, there was a knock on the door. His daughter Zaynab opened it, and Hafsa, entered. She noticed the look in her father’s eye, and looked down, knowing she has disappointed him again. As her heart dropped, she passed salaam to the family and sat down, in hope someone would break silence.
Deep down her heart yearned to share what she had learned, but sharing it at this moment of time wasn’t right, it was unappreciated. Not because they didn’t care, nor was it they weren’t interested, rather they believed her priorities were incorrect, so her passion and zeal for learning about Islam was between herself and her friends, and of course her family – when the time was right.
The mother of Maryam understood Islam in a different context to how we do today; she prioritised it above anything else, desiring the Hereafter, as she knew when she set her affairs with Allah right, only contentment would follow. There are many lessons you can learn from this amazing woman.
The mother of Maryam was not thinking in terms of this life at all, she wanted her child to serve Allah . This is not to advocate that we become imbalanced and stay at home and just pray, this is not the way a believer should behave, rather she should be balanced.
Once again through this Superstar we learn some incredible lessons
- We should be more worried about the religious matters of our children, rather than the worldly matters, as Allah is the One who gives Rizq (sustenance).
He is the one who provides for them and will provide for them. So send them to University to attain degrees, and advise them to work so they learn how to stand on their two feet. And in addition, allow them and respect their decision to attend courses, take time off to focus on their Islamic Studies and lo and behold, decide to choose a career path calling to Allah rather than a Doctor!
- Allah teaches us that it is our responsibility to save ourselves and our families from the hellfire. He says;
“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.” [1. Surah At-Tahrim: 66:6]
The mother of Maryam , wanted the best for her daughter, she could have given her freedom, let her be – however, she persisted in pushing her in a direction during her youth, so she can continue in this resolve for the years to come.
Now question yourself; how are you protecting your family? How are you saving them from the hellfire?
Alhamdulillah we recently held; ‘I keep on falling’ and many of my cousins attended, these are the closest people to me, sisters whom I wish only good for and much more. The main reason why I’m sharing this is so you understand saving your family from the displeasure of Allah can be done in several ways. Deep down you know what will make them respect you enough to make them listen to you, so focus on this – whilst remaining firm upon the right path.
Through this story we learn many lessons, great and mighty and greatest of all is; when you set your hereafter right, then all yours affairs in this life will follow. And when you neglect your hereafter, then you can be the richest person in the world, however, your wealth and popularity will not avail you on that dreaded Day when you meet your Creator, Allah .
Now everyone knows this du’a:
”Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.” [2. Surah Al-Bakarah; 2:201]
Though, now I request you to see it in a whole new light, and to make this du’a with a zeal and passion to excel in the hereafter, and in this life, because you want to create an impact here, and in the hereafter! InshaAllah.
And when you do Allah makes you a promise
“And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” [3. Surat At-Talaq; 65:3]
I’ll end with – are you in Maryam’s shoes?
- Decide what you want to achieve in life.
- Once you have decided your goals, then ascertain if they’re conducive to Jannah.
- Focus on achieving them and rally support from your loved ones, as they can make you or break you, especially if you think you’re on the right path, when in fact – you’re going further astray.
Or perhaps you’re the mother, father or an elder sister?
- Have a vision for your children or siblings and help them attain Jannah and have a focus in their lives. As a daughter, I for one, appreciate when my parents give me some direction – your children will too, it’s how you package it that makes the difference of whether they decide to listen or, well, switch off.
- Finally, even when they fall, don’t put them down, rather pick them up again with encouragement.
This is the mother who raised Maryam , who in turn raised ‘Eesa bin Maryam , as they say – Superstars produce Superstars!
Alima Ashfaq is the founder of I am Alima and hopes to transform it into the forefront of assisting women come closer to Allah (swt). She is the author of a number of publications, most notably Du’as of the Superstars.